Coming of Edge 13: Stranded Whale

“Leo.”

In a swirl of bulging and feverish colors the pressure was everywhere. It felt like a blanket of sticky heat, weighing a thousand, squirming stones.

“Leo.”

The voice was closer, clearer now. It was still distant and muffled. It was rumbling and deep, but also gentle and caring. It was confusing. Somewhere in the distance two regular beeps provided steady background noise.

‘Vater?’ he tried. He thought he did. Instead he felt and heard a hoarse, unintelligible rasp. That was him. But the sound did not originate where it should.

“…some water,” said the deep voice. He suddenly felt cool and fresh water in his mouth and throat, they also felt parched at the same time. ‘Do people in the desert feel like this? Dying of thirst?’ he thought. He imagined him lying injured, close to death in a nomad tent. In that image he was drowning in heavy cushions.

“Leo. Can you try saying something again?”

“Wa’ah?” His raspy voice was slightly better. His tongue, now slick, felt like a misbehaving, maggot-like thing. He tried again.

“Vatah?”

“I think he’s asking for his father.” Another voice and it was ancient and brittle. For Leo it carried unwavering strength and kindness. It reminded him of his own grandfather.

“Yeeh.” They needed to know that he understood them.

“Okay Leo. Sorry, your father is not here.” The first voice, the rumble he could feel in his guts. It came from somewhere to his left. ”I am Wout. I’ll just do my best. The other guy here is Ebon. He’s a very good doctor. We are trying to help you. Do you understand?” The deep voice was talking slow, deliberately articulating the words.

“Yeeh.” Leo felt his frustration rising. Why was his voice at a different place? Why were the sounds muffled and clear at the same time? He wanted to see.

“Leo, if you understand please say ‘no’ once.” Now, it was the ancient voice again, from his right. He instantly felt like complying.

“Noh.”

Both men in the room sighed audibly.

“That is very good, very good,” said the old one.

“Now Leo,” the old voice continued, “we want you to know that we are here for you. We will do everything we can to try and help you. Yes?”

“Yeh?” Leo felt growing insecurity. He noticed his hearts beating faster, harder.

“You are in a very, very special situation. But don’t worry, we found ways to deal with it. Do you remember that you were in a hospital in Hamburg?”

Leo instantly lived through his memories, seeing them before his inner eyes. The closed-off wing in the hospital and him having a room all by himself. The nice girl who was also a patient. The woman with the bobbing head who had told him that they’d move them.

The background beeping in the room became quicker.

“Yeh.”

“Good. Do you remember that you left Hamburg?”

The transport. He remembered traveling in the ambulance. It had been a terribly long ride, but it had been fun. They took breaks, the two nurses, him, the driver. He remembered how they passed the ‘Holstein Alps’ and how he realized that there were no real mountains whatsoever, only hills. He had laughed.

He played video games on the deck they already had provided to him in the hospital. The included subscription allowed him to play thousands of titles. The extra finger he had grown a few weeks back had come in handy; he could trigger another button on the controller easily.

But the itching skin was bad. The nurses had helped him, applying moisturizing salves. They said it looked like inflammations and they would try to suppress the immune reaction of his body. Nele and Karl, he liked them.

Twice they got him burgers in Denmark. Those were really good. He remembered the rich taste, longed for the experience, but felt no appetite right now.

And then there was the parking place shortly before crossing over to Sweden. He had to go to the restrooms, Karl went with him. The highway was close to empty. There was no one else so they got careless. As they stepped outside the restrooms, there were people.

A family. Their van parked nearby. A woman and two kids.

“Leo?”

They had seen him. He had seen them. They had looked at him with fear and disgust. The girl pointed at him, crying out. The mother tried to shield her kids. It was nothing like that awesome moment when he showed his shiny new finger to his friends. That glorious moment, when he had bragged that he would try to grow a second head.

The beeping was really fast now. It was resonating with the pounding inside of him.

“15 milligram Diazepam, Wout. Now!”

Leo remembered how he had felt back then. They resumed the journey, but the ambulance felt suddenly tight and closed-in. It seemed to shrink around him. He remembered the look on the faces of the two nurses who were with him. There was panic in them. They seemed sick and feeble. They collapsed in front of him and they looked like dying a horrible death.

The alarm in the room was so loud and distant, so close and muffled.

He remembered the all-consuming fear, when he saw his flesh and muscles bulging, expanding. The anxiety when he felt himself drowning, the moment his own tissue was overgrowing his head.

The panic was now.

And then it dissipated.

The alarm returned to slower beeps.

His hearts slowed down.

He felt calmer again.

“Leo? Are you with us?” said the old voice.

“Yeh.”

“Okay. That’s good. I think you had a panic attack. Don’t worry. We’ll help.”

“Duh I k-kill em? Nede? Kahr?” Leo was sure he should be terrified by the thought but all he could muster at this moment was indifference.

“The nurses?” The other man on the left. Wout. “No, they live.” He paused, when he spoke again there was sadness in it. “You did not kill them. We could save them.” A moment. “Don’t carry that burden.” The rumble of a voice showed slight cracks.

‘But almost,’ Leo thought unaffectedly.

“Leo,” the old man took over again, “we need your feedback to gain more insights. We need to run tests. This will be difficult for us all, but especially for you.” A pause. “One last request for now and then we’ll try to make your time here less boring. You’ll be in bed a lot because right now you cannot move well.”

“O-k.”

“Can you open your eyes?”

Leo made a snorting sound. Two of them. Distant where his voice was and close where it belonged. He had not thought of trying to open them. He tried.

“I’ll d-dry.” Again, both voices.

Bright light overwhelmed him. He quickly closed his eyes but still saw a tunnel with a little opening at the end. The walls of the tunnel seemed slightly translucent, like when he held a hand in front of a flashlight. He could make out fine webs of veins in the walls.

“Good Leo, we saw you blinking. We can close the shutters so you can try opening them again.”

“Bud ey are ow-en,” he answered, then, “I’m in here.”

Leo felt clothes rustling against his skin. Someone touching him. He was not sure where they touched him. It should have been his chest but it felt off.

The scrutinizing eye of a very old man wearing glasses moved into view where the small opening of the tunnel was.

“I suppose this is the original, then,” the elder man said.

A quiet hiss and Leo’s field of view turned. His sense of balance notifying him that the mass that he realized was his body, was being turned over. A fragment of a window came into view, there were trees outside, a blue sky, a sunny day.

“That was the pneumatic mattress. It regularly shifts your body to make sure your skin doesn’t get bedsores. I had one, too, back before my diet here.” The man on left said. It seemed like a joke. The old man on the right sighed.

Leo imagined his grandfather shaking his head in disagreement. And even though he felt deeply confused and weirdly calm, safe serenity now pulsed through his veins.

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